Update 5: Weekly Wrap Up

Busy Busy Week in Hospital World.

There was another new arrival this week -- Belinda Biatche, the alcoholic, chain smoking DON stormed into hospital world and showed what a team player she could be, accompanying Lola and providing her "services" at the Crusty Motel to our visiting auditors.

I'm afraid Redneck Never Come to Work Guy and Russell will never be quite the same. They're the happiest auditors I've ever seen but hey, that can only be a good thing for Buckethead and the audit! In fact, I don't think they want to ever leave.

Rumor is Russell is thinking of settling down here permanently.

While Belinda is conspiring against Sharky, Sharky's wrapping up his own investigation and looks like he's going to be "throwin' a death card" at unacrapper any day now.

In between sneaking drinks in her office, smoking on the back dock, and attending her court ordered AA meetings, Belinda's set out to get dirt on the compliance officer himself! I'm not sure where Waz's loyalties lie (if anywhere), but he's been all too happy to assist.

Speaking of Waz, I don't know where he was hiding out for the last few weeks but he's back with a vengeance, ragging on Cherry, Consuela, and Buckethead and inviting Lola over to practice her lap dances with him.

(Cherry has been uncharacteristically quiet, maybe this will draw her out of her shell a little)

Just when we were getting tired of hearing Waz brag all day about how he "sees all" and starting to think he was all bark and no bite . . . he finally shows his hand. And what a disturbing hand it is. Seems he really was watching all along, and apparently no one is safe!

All I can say is that it's a sad day in Hospital World when you can't even go to work and jump in a bathtub of Cheetos without it showing up on the Internet.

In the CEO suite, Jane's morale problems are only getting worse. FBI guy rejected her Gung Ho meeting proposal, saying having a meeting with dancing dwarfs and managers playing make believe was too ridiculous and would blow her cover. The Cheetos crisis is threatening to destroy the quarterly bonus plan, there has been a compliance compaint made about her, and her girl Lola is driving up expenses, trying to negotiate higher fees for her "services."

Speaking of Lola, she's still singing her theme songs, pooping in the business office, and prank calling Ms. Peggy, the narcoleptic PBX "oprater". Well at least it wakes her up!

And let us not forget Consuela's new arrival! Yes a brand new little baby gangsta has joined hospital world. I'm sure when Consuela weans herself off the good drugs she got in the hospital she'll give us an update.

And where is Buckethead through all of this? With an audit in the works, a cheetos crisis, problems with bonuses, and infighting among staff? Well Buckethead has been spending all her time alone in her office eating frozen microwave tamales, drawing stick figure cartoons and laughing her ass off. She cracks herself up.

On the CFO "work" front, she's starting on a mandatory charitable deduction plan for all staff to fund bonuses and maybe a little on the side for Waz. After all, she doesn't want him playing tapes of her private and often VERY personal conversations with Alex.

We're still expecting a few more arrivals next week. Apparently we will have a new janitor starting. Also, some quirky "touchy feely guy" is interviewing for just about every job in the hospital, so it will be interesting to see what position he is offered. Ms Peggy has just about had enough of Lola's pranks and is about to start speaking her mind. And our missing HR chick has sent a telegram to Jane from the Middle o' Nowhere Land promising that she will be back in hospital world any day now.